Thursday, August 20, 2015

Solutions

Parenting. For the toughest job on the earth, there is no required training or preparation: no diploma, certificate, degree, or license. Most anyone can become a parent, whether they are skilled or not.

In last week's blog I shared some of my outrage over child abuse. As a volunteer on a Foster Care Review Board in Arizona, I read many cases that break my heart. Fortunately, by the time a child enters foster care and I'm reading their story, they are safe physically and most often, emotionally. Foster parents (and grandparents) are angels God uses to save children. I admire them greatly.

Parents whose children are taken from their care, are offered support services to help them establish stable, loving homes. Many take advantage of these services and do get their children returned. However, too many go through the motions just to fulfill a requirement or ignore the help altogether.

Parents whose children are in foster care are offered:
  • Parenting classes
  • Substance abuse services
  • Psychological counseling
  • Daycare
  • Transportation to therapy sessions
  • Parent aides to teach one-on-one parenting skills
  • A case manager to oversee their progress
This is great and I'm glad our state has these services available. However, why not establish some training, education, or skills BEFORE the baby comes?

Advice to young people:
Get your own life cleaned-up and strengthened before becoming a parent. Make sure the home you're establishing is stable, safe, and loving. Take classes, read books, learn about child development--not just a child's physical needs but their emotional and spiritual needs, as well.

Possible training for parenthood:
  • Books
Read everything you can about the task of parenting. Check out the author for his/her credentials. Do their philosophies make sense? Do they mesh with your values? Does their plan for child-raising fit your personality? Is the plan do-able? Most importantly: are children's needs and well-being emphasized?
  • Classes
Take parenting classes at churches, the YMCA, Community Centers, schools. Anywhere they're offered.
  • Mentors
Seek mentors, both official and unofficial. Find a family that seems to be working--not perfectly but stable and happy. Become friends, ask them for advice, model what you like about their parenting and discard what doesn't fit you.
  • Respite
Breaks from the 24/7 of parenting are almost impossible to get, but they are valuable in helping parents stay strong for the lengthy task of raising children to responsible adulthood. You're blessed if you have extended family nearby who can help. Alternatives are friends or trusted babysitters. In my own family, the more children we had, the more important it was for my husband and me to get away on dates or quick weekend trips. Think creatively. Perhaps you and a friend can swap services so everyone benefits--even the kids.

We all feel anger when we read of parents neglecting their children. We should do what we can to encourage parents to take precautions BEFORE their children need the foster care system.

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If you want to serve the children of Arizona, consider becoming a CASA volunteer or a volunteer member of a Foster Care Review Board. Click here for more information on two worthwhile programs:




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