Grow with God: GRIEF & THE HOLIDAYS

My mother died the day after Thanksgiving many years ago. I still remember the devastation. She was 55, too young to die. I was 28, too young to lose a mom.

How do you face the holidays in the midst of fresh grief?

Everything about the season seems poised to magnify your sadness: the music, the ads, the parties, the decorations, etc.

A week after my mother's memorial service in Ohio, I returned home to Phoenix to my husband and four young children. Bob's mother had coincidentally (a God-thing, for sure) been there on her way to California from her home in Chicago, and was able to care for my busy family during my absence. I am grateful, even today so many years later.

Before my mother-in-law left to continue her trip, she insisted she and I go shopping to buy the children's Christmas gifts. She wanted my help in selecting them and wanted to avoid having to ship a large parcel.

The LAST thing I wanted to do was go to the mall, but I respected her and realized she had held my family together for a week. No easy task.

On our trek to the noisy mall, I felt numb. I hated the blaring holiday music, I hated the shopping, I hated seeing the long line of children waiting to see a jovial Santa. I even hated when we stopped for a coffee break.

I wanted to stay home and cry and wallow in my sadness. Instead, this wise woman knew I needed to get back to doing "life," no matter how painful.

Looking back, I see it was the best thing for me. The hurt never goes away (even today), but the act of putting one foot in front of the other helped me re-enter life.

Are you grieving this year?

Is there an overall sadness that envelops you as you encounter all the holiday hoopla in the air?

Take heart. You will re-enter life again, though it might be with a new sense of "normal." In time, the hurt will be less painful. Let positive memories of your loved one ease your pain.

Two verses I find comforting:

Psalm 16:
"I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

Romans 8:26:
"...the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."