Perks of a Personal Retreat

     "Calgon, Calgon, take me away!" So goes an old commercial for a product promising a soothing, soft-water soak in a tub. No bubbles, just soft water. The Calgon commercial isn't around anymore but the need to get away is.

     Wouldn't you like to step outside your daily grind of work/home/family/community/church responsibilities? Vacations, mini-vacations, stay-cations, and getaways are valuable to our mental health and we must incorporate them into our busy lives. However, these include a lot of other people.

     I'd like to propose a spiritual retreat, enjoyed in solitude and focused on prayer and Bible study. I know, I know. You barely have time to breathe let alone go traipsing off to meditate. Trust me, it can be pulled off.

     When my four children were young my life was scheduled to the max. I was deeply involved in Christian leadership in my church; I supported a husband establishing his own business by hosting dinner parties for his clients' families; together we entertained many large groups in our home for church events; and I served as air traffic controller to the kids' sports, school, church, and friends schedules. Ours was the house where neighborhood children gathered so there were many skirmishes to settle. Our children worked paper routes and the route station was in our garage, meaning more skirmishes. In addition, I was trying to establish myself as a free-lance writer. (I did my best work while the gang was engrossed in Sesame Street or the Electric Company.)

     In spite of a bursting calendar, once a year I carved out a weekend retreat for myself. It took planning to avoid important family events, and it required cajoling to convince an equally busy husband to cover the home front. I left the family with a full refrigerator, a few casseroles, and clean laundry. "This relaxing getaway thing is a lot of work!" I thought.

     For my spiritual retreats I drove up north to the mountains of Arizona because pine trees speak to me. I reserved a room in rustic Bed and Breakfasts--one time a little cabin in the woods and another a lower floor apartment overlooking the Mogollon Rim, a spectacular range of mountains.

     I took my books, my Bible, a new yellow legal pad, lots of pens, and even a small electronic typewriter that printed out documents on thermal paper (PCs hadn't been invented). 

     The Bed and Breakfasts were safe, comfortable, and provided the solitude I craved. The amenities:

• Nearby trails for long walks
• Pot-bellied stove or fireplace in the rooms 
• Breakfasts to die for 
• Antique-y little towns to explore when I needed a break

     My activities were sleeping, reading, watching television late into the night, writing, Bible study, prayer, walking in the fresh air--all the things I wanted to do but couldn't while immersed in daily responsibilities.

Alternatives to a Week End...

     Is this too much for your life? You can't get away for an entire weekend? Try a one day or even half-day escape. Visit sites around your community, sites that are relatively quiet and afford alone time. Make sure you're safe and comfortable so your day is relaxing, allowing you to commune with God.

     Visit a local park, restaurant, book store, or library. Maybe there are some churches in your community that keep their doors open for quiet worship. Perhaps you need something physical to help you unwind like a strenuous bike ride or a long run or kayaking on a lake. Be sure to include time for rest and meditation.

     Phoenix is home to two very nice Retreat Centers. One is the Franciscan Renewal Center, or the Casa as it's known locally (http://www.thecasa.org/index.php). The Casa offers organized retreats but also welcomes visitors who wish to enjoy personal spiritual times of renewal. The grounds are beautiful and very restful. The other is Canaan in the Desert run by the Evangelical Sisterhood of Mary in the U.S.A. (http://www.canaaninthedesert.com/). Time spent in their prayer garden fosters relaxation and inspiration. Even if your hometown doesn't have such resources, it does have lovely parks that allow visitors to enjoy nature.

     My home church has a large hill in the middle of its property. The church turned this construction nightmare into a blessing by creating a trail to the top where there is a cross, an empty tomb, and a bench. Along the path are stations of prayer, focusing on the Lord's Prayer. It's a very worshipful trek to make in solitude.

What to Do?

 

     Read, breathe, rest, study your Bible, pray, listen for God's direction, make important decisions, or set goals (see Post from August 12). Whatever you do, don't allow guilt to interfere, and get rid of the need to be productive. Turn off your phone and tell your family to call only if there's an emergency. Let work know you're incommunicado for the day.

     Step out of your responsibilities and commune with God. Receive his direction or his healing balm for your frazzled lifestyle. You will return stronger, healthier, and happier. Your Mental Health Day becomes so much more when you plan it to be a Spiritual Health Day. It's better than soaking in a tub full of soft water.

The Mighty Saguaro

You can always tell a newcomer to Arizona when they pronounce the saguaro cactus as "sa-goo-row" instead of the proper, "suh-whar-oh" with the accent on the middle syllable. It's almost unforgivable when a new weather person does this on local television. They end up apologizing with a red face.

Photo taken at the Lake Pleasant Visitors' Center

The saguaro is a magnificent phenomenon found only in the Sonoran Desert--that is in Arizona, northern Mexico, and just a smidgen in southeastern California. It's the mother of all cacti and the one seen on countless photos trying to lure visitors to the Southwest. I've lived in Arizona over forty years and I still am amazed at their stature and uniqueness.

Some interesting trivia (in case you ever compete on Jeopardy):

• most saguaros develop arms as they grow older, as many as 25
• beneath their prickly outer shell is a wooden spine, hollow in order to hold water
• they are slow growers--1/2 inch a year and live to be about 200 years old
• they grow in a very limited span of elevation, 200-foot window, I think
• they produce white, waxy flowers in the spring and red fruit in the late summer
• they obtain most of their moisture during the summer monsoons and very little from the more frequent but weaker winter rains
• their roots are shallow, 4 to 6 inches deep, and radiate out as far as they are tall
• they have one tap root which goes deeply into the ground--2 feet
• birds and owls make nests in the crook of a saguaro's arm (cactus wren is the Arizona state bird)
• when they die, the wooden spines are used to make furniture, fences, roofs, etc.
• it is against the law in Arizona to kill a saguaro

Well now, using this stately plant as a metaphor for living the Christian life is just too easy, but I'll go there anyway. 

If we are to exist in a harsh world (the desert) we must accumulate nourishment (water in the hollow cavity of the cactus). We must grow our roots deep into God's word, his instruction manual (the tap root), and we must be patient to grow steadily (1/2 inch a year).

We could get really sappy and consider the importance of growing arms, reaching out to others, but that makes even me gag. Metaphors can be overdone and I'm sure the saguaro cactus is sick of being held up as a model for strong Christian living. We could also point out the obvious:  we produce beauty in our lives (white, waxy flowers) and produce results from our testimonies (summertime fruit).

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." (Galatians 5: 22-23)

The one fact, however, that surprises me is that they obtain most of their water to store up for survival from the rainstorms of the ridiculously harsh summer, not the rains of the comfortable winter climate. Obviously, God created them to adapt to and endure the desert.

What does that say about us? Growth in God is a major theme of this blog and I know from personal experience, God grows me more fully during the times of distress and tragedy in my life than in the relaxed times of comfort and peace. I'm always striving for peace but he speaks to my heart and teaches me to rely on him during those awful times--times I'd rather do without.

So, Mighty Cactus. I admire your strength, uniqueness, survive-ability, longevity, and even your strange beauty. I must remember to burrow my tap root deep into the Word of God and seek my nourishment from him through study and prayer. Maybe I can even get to the point of being grateful for those tough times when God teaches me the most. Hmmm. Don't know if I'm there yet.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5 16-18)

I think they look like whiskers on the hillside

Some perspective on their enormous size

For more fascinating information on this strange plant go to http://www.dbg.org/



If Southwestern gardening interests you, go to a friend's blog at www.azbackyardeden.blogspot.com
She is a master gardener and her backyard is 
 incredible. 


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Cud-Chewing

Imagine a lovely scene of contented black and white cows, lazing around in a field of wildflowers. So serene and so very country. Aren’t they adorable? But wait. Do you know what these little lovelies do? They spend a lot of time chewing and chewing and chewing. It’s called ruminating, a necessity for their digestion. Yuck. What a mental image that brings to mind!

 

 Sadly, we, too, sometimes ruminate--on hurts, injustices, or negative circumstances. You know the scenario:  we replay a conversation over and over, nursing our hurt feelings and imagining all sorts of clever, forceful responses. It’s devastating and we don’t even realize we’re doing it

  

God has a better plan for our minds that is expressed beautifully in these words:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things….And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4: 8 & 9)

 30 Days to Establish a Good Habit

It’s not easy overcoming the destructive habit of negative rumination but we can be proactive in eliminating it from our minds.

• Ask God to alert us when we dwell on negative situations and then confess it as a sin.
• Replace the negative thoughts with a verse of scripture or praise song.
• Pray for the person who is at the center of our thoughts and experience sweet relief.

Freedom from the devastating practice of rehashing, chewing, and ruminating old hurts leads to inner peace.

Maybe the rural image of cows doesn’t cut it for you. Think instead of instant replay. Years ago an NFL player suffered a horrific tackle resulting in a serious leg break needing extensive surgery. The cameras caught the graphic incident on film from many angles and they replayed it over and over—throughout the rest of the game and then throughout the following several weeks. It was excruciating to watch. The player himself must have cringed from his hospital bed every time the tape ran. His loved ones probably refused to look at it anymore. I know I did.

 That’s what we do in our minds whether we’re remembering a major tragedy or a minor infraction to our egos. We run the instant replay DVD over and over. We may think we have the hurt all splinted up and on the road to healing but then we replay it in our minds and become spiritually paralyzed.

A good question to ask:  "Do my thoughts reach the standards set in this scripture verse from Philippians?" Cows and Instant Replay. Both are enemies to peaceful living.

Family tradition from my youth:  when a young person leaves home, they're given a brown cow filled with cookies

Hand painted by my daughter many years ago

Perfect Parenting

Those who have children:  how's your stress level? Off the charts? You've got lots of company.

This time of  year creates anxiety for most parents. Getting the children back on a structured school schedule takes a lot of planning and effort. Snapping them from summer's "sleep-in-'til-noon" mode to the "wake-up-and-get-moving" regimen takes the diligence of a boot camp sergeant.

In addition to school there are sports practices and games, music lessons, church activities, etc. Everything seems to start this time of year, making for a very busy family schedule. Oh yes, then there's your work and managing a household. And don't even get me started on the laundry. I remember.

Jesus, a parent?

 

I've always believed Jesus, because of his 33 years on earth, understands everything we humans experience--our joys, sorrows, fears, etc. However, when I was raising four very active and opinionated youngsters many years ago, I just knew my Savior could not know what it was like. After all, he wasn't married and wasn't a parent.

Then it dawned on me Jesus did have children--his twelve disciples. They were babes in the faith and when he called them from their various lifestyles he had twelve amateurs on his hands. He led them through the precarious stages of infancy into childhood and on through to maturity in their Christian faith. How comforting. He loved, taught, nurtured and reprimanded. He fed them and even washed their feet in loving service. Sounds a lot like parenthood.

He also dealt with sibling rivalry when the disciples asked who would be greatest in his kingdom. He handled temperamental attitudes in James and John, nicknamed "men of thunder." Do you have any thunderous children in your household?

He coped with the impetuousness of Peter (got one of those?), the skepticism of Thomas, and the rebellion of Judas, the greatest heartbreak of all. Though adults in age, these men were childlike in their walk with Christ and he worked patiently to bring them to competent Christian adulthood.

A Divine Role Model

How do we follow him as a role model for parenting?

• Note how frequently he went off by himself to communicate with his father. Pray, pray, pray every day, all day for your children.

• Trust him because he knows your fears and anxieties whether your children are babies, toddlers, teenagers, or adults--whether they're making good decisions or bad, he knows your heart.

• Read about his interaction with his disciples and other people he encountered and glean parenting skills from that.

Take heart, parents. You will get through the hectic times of child-rearing though it will take every ounce of your energies and then some. Dip into God's power to get through these busy, busy times.

Remember, Jesus does know what you're going through

for he is the PERFECT PARENT.

Yep, He's in Canada!

Another reason I know the Canadian Rockies are home to God (see previous post) has to do with a happy encounter I had in Banff, Alberta, Canada.

It was our last morning in this magnificent town in the National Park and we were waiting for the airport shuttle to drive us to Calgary Airport for our return to Arizona. I took one last walk to soak up the cool, crisp, clean mountain air and view the magnificent mountains surrounding the town.

Towards the end of my walk I saw a group of motorcycle dudes standing around a gas station. There were six of them, three men and three women, all wearing the characteristic leather jackets, bandanas, boots, etc. The men were big and burly, some with bushy beards (aka Duck Dynasty) or pony tails. The women looked competent as they gassed up the bikes and adjusted their helmets.

What intrigued me was the insignia on the backs of their jackets:  a cross with Tribe of Judah Motorcycle Ministries. I just had to stop.

I introduced myself as a fellow Christian and asked about their ministry. There were other Christian symbols on their jackets. One guy even had the date he was "born again" stitched on his leather vest and they all had "Jesus is Lord" on their backs. We enjoyed a delightful 20-minute visit right there at the gas station.

I told them they were living my husband's dream, as he would love for the two of us to ride around the country on a fancy motorcycle. Sadly, he's married to a wimp who doesn't relish speeding along the highway just inches from asphalt and hanging on for dear life. 

The three couples were traveling from Montana to Banff and on to Lake Louise to see the grandeur of the area and to be open to opportunities to share the gospel with hurting people. They insisted they are not a motorcycle club (or gang) but a Motorcycle Ministry looking for God appointments.

They often go into bars (because they can) to be available to anyone who wants to talk or share a need for prayer. They're not pushy and keep things low key. They're approachable because everyone loves to talk to a biker guy and a motorcycle mama, right?

Prayer Meeting at the Gas Station 

 

After a while they asked if I would join them in prayer before they headed off to Lake Louise. There I stood in a circle of prayer with my new biker friends right on the main street in Banff, the one that runs from the TransCanada Highway to the remote terrain of the Canadian Rockies.

They prayed for me and I prayed for them. They closed by asking God for, "Safe travels and no critters on the road!" I left with hugs all around as they roared off and I returned to finish packing for my trip home.

So, yes. God lives in the beauty of the Canadian Rockies and he lives in the people I encountered on our visit--especially the six bikers who are earnest about sharing God's love with anyone they meet.

* * * * *

I'd like to echo the prayer of my new biker friends for everyone kind enough to read this post:

May God give you safe travels (through life) with no critters on the road!   

 

(Won't my Grandkids be impressed to hear I'm hangin' with the bikers!)

I've since learned Tribe of Judah, is a national--no, make that international--organization that aims to share the gospel with outlaw motorcycle riders. And...grandmas going out for their morning stroll.

Formula for Busy People

I would love to give you the gift of TIME 

Let me guess:

• you are stretched to the max
• you can’t possibly complete everything on your agenda
• parts of your life are in disorder
• you rarely feel caught up at work or at home

Modern men and women live exhaustive lives that revolve around the needs of many people; frequently, we try to do it all and do it all perfectly.

Technology, though essential and efficient, may add to the stress since a worker/friend/family member is expected to be on call 24/7 and respond to electronic messages immediately.

A successful CEO of a very large corporation recently suffered a physical breakdown because of too-long working days and too-little sleep at night. Once she recovered she instituted new rules for herself and those in her employ:  no one is expected to answer messages in the evenings or on weekends, unless they are on call.

What Does the Bible Say?

 

Paul wrote this in his letter to the Corinthian church to instruct them about orderly worship:  “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” (I Corinthians 14:33) I think these words can apply to our individual lives, as well. God desires us to live in an atmosphere of peace and order. How do we do that?

What Can I Do?

 

There’s no one solution to this dilemma but there are some practical steps that can help us deal with this age-old problem. Take what works for you and toss out the ideas that don’t suit your personality.

        Mission Statement – Write out a mission statement for yourself for the coming year. This idea is from Knit Together:  Discover God’s Pattern for Your Life by Debbie Macomber. (FaithWords 2008) Corporations and committees write mission statements why not you? Keep it short and direct. “What do I want as guiding philosophy for my life?” Powerful stuff.

        Priorities – List the things important or necessary at this phase of your life. Be sure to include leisure time for yourself. Every priority should support your mission statement.

        Goals – Under each priority list the goals you’d like to accomplish in that area in the next six months or year.

        Steps to accomplish your goals (optional) – If you’re a type A personality, jot down the steps needed to accomplish each goal. Skip it if you’re too busy!

Review your priorities and goals several times throughout the year to see if you’re on target or need to adjust. Perhaps something is unattainable at this time of your life. Is your life balanced? Check for gaps. Your priorities and goals will change as you walk through the various stages of your life and as your family or work dynamics change. Simplify where you can, delegate, and focus on what’s really important.

A Promise!  

 

Here’s the clincher:  a disciplined devotional life will help you find more time—really! Make reading the Bible and prayer a daily occurrence and your day will go more smoothly and efficiently. The busier I am, the more I need to do this. Pray over your mission statement, your priorities, and your goals. God will direct you and keep you focused.