Footsteps

On a recent family reunion in San Diego, I had the extreme joy of watching our four children and their families enjoy the lovely beach of southern California. This is a favorite vacation spot for us--one we visited nearly forty years as a family. Now there were twenty of us!

The photo above shows several young cousins following an uncle who taught them the basics of surfing and boogie boarding. That day, he was the favorite uncle.

I love the photo because they were all lined up like a family of ducklings.

During a previous summer, at another California beach, I walked along with my son and his young daughters. The older one traipsed along merrily behind her dad as together they searched for seashells and sand crabs. My heart swelled as I watched my "baby" interact with one of his "babies." I remembered doing the same thing on nearly the same beach with him many years ago.

I saw their footprints in the sand, his very large and hers small, but following the path he set. Isn't it scary that our children follow in our steps? How do we make sure those footsteps are going in the right direction?

The obvious answer is for us to follow Jesus, asking ourselves what he would do in certain situations.

• How would he show love and patience to children, especially unruly or needy ones?
• How would he instruct them to make good choices?
• How would he lead them to trust God?

That's quite an assignment. It helps to remember we can trust God's guidance because he knows and understands--after all, he deals with us as his unruly children many times.

Our children will walk in our footsteps so we must follow his.

What a heavenly procession!

 

People over Things

People Are More Important Than Things

Crash! As soon as the soapy antique china platter I was drying slipped from my young hands, I knew there was not going to be a good ending. Sure enough, it shattered into tiny pieces with shards flying all over my elderly Great-Aunt Lona’s kitchen.

My heart sank and my eyes filled with tears—tears I tried desperately to stifle. My mother, who was hand washing the dishes, gasped and stared at me with a wide-eyed look of silent shock.


I was ten years old, an awkward young girl in the clumsy, pre-pubescent state of development. My parents and I had driven from our home in Ohio to Virginia to pick up my grandfather and take him to Florida so he could visit his siblings, whom he hadn’t seen in ages. It was a memorable trip for him but also for me because I got to see Florida and to meet aunt Lona and Uncle Den for the first and only time. They were Granddad’s brother and sister, neither who ever married. I knew them from family stories shared around the dinner table.
    
It was interesting to watch the three old siblings interact. They were quite lively and their eyes twinkled as they shared antics of their growing up years. I didn’t know my reserved southern gentleman grandfather could laugh so much.

And then I dropped the dish. It was antique, like most everything in Lona’s house, and possibly very valuable. It probably belonged to her dead mother or grandmother, I thought, making myself even more miserable.

“Oh, Honey,” said Aunt Lona, noticing my distress. “Don’t you fret. That old thing? I’ve been trying to get rid of it for years!” I couldn’t believe my ears. My mother, who hadn’t said a word, let out her breath and I choked and sniffled, still trying not to cry. My aunt’s response amazed me. Her kindness warmed me.

I never saw Aunt Lona again but I’ve always remembered her. Her legacy lives on in our family through her recipe for delicious Pound Cake. This southern classic is truly wonderful. It contains rich, artery-clogging creamy butter, lots of fresh eggs, and enough sugar to gag a hummingbird. 

     

However, as delicious as her pound cake recipe is, I remember Aunt Lona for recognizing a ten-year old girl’s feelings are far more important than any possession, no matter how valuable.

When must I practice her philosophy?

• when an elderly person shares details of a story I’ve heard a zillion times
• when I break or lose something of sentimental value
•  when a teen-aged child wants to talk far into the night altering my plan for a good night’s sleep
• when a little one comes charging with muddy feet across my just-scrubbed kitchen floor to show me a butterfly on his finger
• when a spouse deserves my attention more than a phone call or a hobby or a television show
• when a family member backs the car out of the garage and hits the second family car parked in the driveway (it’s been done)
• when a child needs me to drop whatever I’m doing and give him or her my undivided devotion.

Thank you, Aunt Lona, for teaching me people really are more important than things.

Southern Pound Cake

(Alona Faris)

5eggs                           ¼ t. salt

1 2/3 C. sugar              2 C. flour

½ lb. butter                  1 t. vanilla

            Set eggs and butter on counter to have at room temperature. Cream butter and sugar; add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each egg. Add flour gradually. Add salt and vanilla. Bake 1 hour at 350° in buttered non-stick angel food pan. (If using Bundt pan, bake approximately 45 minutes.)

How's Your Equilibrium?

 I'm into vocabulary. Last week I learned a term, new to me. It is "punctuated equilibrium" and came from a geologist leading a Road's Scholar tour of the Snake River Plain in southern Idaho.

My husband and I enjoyed a great week of learning about rocks, lava flows, rocks, volcanoes, earthquakes, rocks, and more rocks. Only a geology professor can get excited about deciphering historical happenings from the colors and formations of rocks.

Shawn Willsey, geology teacher at the College of Southern Idaho in Twin Falls, used the term to explain geological events that cause drastic changes in the earth. Erosion usually occurs slowly--through sand, wind, and water. Things like earthquakes and volcanoes punctuate the equilibrium of the landscape because they cause changes quickly.

This is a mile-long lava tunnel I walked through....err, crawled through on my hands & knees!

Lava rocks, as the result of a volcanic eruption & lava flow many years ago.

I hesitate to write about this because the term is used by evolutionists, and those who know me, know I am a staunch believer in God's creation--he created the earth and everything in it. He created mankind in his image. I believe we are the crown of his creation and do not evolve from animals. (There. I said it.)

However, that term jumped up and grabbed my attention. I must think in metaphors because immediately I saw punctuated equilibrium as aptly describing life.

Think about it: hasn't your equilibrium been punctuated? Life throws curve balls. It kicks us in the teeth. Blindsides us. You chose the cliché that fits your experience.

If we have a pulse, our equilibrium has been or will be punctuated.

So, what do we do about it?

• Learn about God (read his Book).
• Trust his promises.
• Lean on him.
• Dialog with him, daily.....sometimes hourly.
• Find support from someone whose faith is strong.
• Get professional help, if necessary.

You can survive if you allow God to uphold you and strengthen your character.

"...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope; and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Romans 5:3).  

If your equilibrium is being punctuated, have faith that God will be by your side.

"...the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you" (Deuteronomy 31:6)

 

Summer Reading Suggestions 2

The good thing about writing fiction is, you get to make up stuff.

The bad thing about writing fiction is, you have to make up stuff.

The nice thing about reading fiction is, you escape your own stressful life for a while and lose yourself in someone else's stressful life. As promised, I have a few suggestions for your summer reading.

There are several different ways to select books:

• Follow your friends' recommendations
• Read books on best-seller lists - they're there for a reason!
• Read a series from a favorite author
• Vary the genre and subject matter of your reading
• Slip in an occasional classic (that title you never finished in High School English)

Here are a few I've enjoyed:

• Snow Falling on Cedars - a novel about the relocation of Japanese-Americans right after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. This book was made more meaningful to me this week as Bob and I toured Minidoka in Hunt, Idaho. It is the remains of a settlement of Japanese families from the Seattle area. Families were kept together but most lost their businesses, homes, and land because of the xenophobia (fear of anything foreign). They remained behind barbed-wire fencing. The novel is very well written and gives insight into the personal tragedies of Americans forced to leave their homes. (Visit the National Park Service website to learn more about Minidoka: www.nps.gov/miin)

• The Rosie Project and The Rosie Effect by Graeme Simsion. Be sure to read them in the correct order. Delightful stories with insight into Aspberger Syndrome.
• The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman. For the life of me, I can't remember what this novel is about but I know it's good and I liked it! It was on one of the best-seller lists.
• The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. Working in a flower shop helps a woman survive and gives her insight into both flowers and people.
• Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty. I chuckled the whole way through this book. I especially enjoyed her description (caricatures) of pre-school helicopter moms. By the end of the book, however, I realized it deals with a heavy issue, giving a delightful book some depth. Other titles by this author are: The Husband's Secret and What Alice Forgot.
• Three-book series by a friend and fellow author, Barbara Hinske: Coming to Rosemont, Weaving the Strands, and Uncovering Secrets. You'll enjoy reading the entire series. Nothing offensive, yet realistic enough to keep your attention. The mansion in the book is based on the author's 1920s home in the heart of Phoenix. Visit her website to see tours of the beautiful home and meet Barbara.
• For the best classic you'll ever read, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Then there's the recently published (and controversial) novel by Ms. Lee titled, Go Set a Watchman. See two of my previous blogs for commentaries on this second novel. (July 23, 2015 & October 1, 2015)
• And....I humbly suggest my own novel, Route to Survival, as a quick summer read. Protagonist Kate Mitchell must find her strength when she loses all her support scaffolding. When I do book talks, many women tell me I wrote their life stories. We all are in need of survival. It can be ordered through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or my website:  www.sueraatjes.weebly.com.
• A new genre is "cozy mysteries." These are Agatha Christie-type novels that are good detective stories without excessive violence or sex. J.A. Jance is listed as a cozy mystery writer. Her stories take place in Bisbee, Arizona, as well as Sedona, AZ, and Seattle.
• NEWSFLASH: I just heard about an author of historical fiction who has 24 books published. I haven't read her yet, but I intend to start with Mrs. Lincoln's Dressmaker. The author is Jennifer Chiaverini. I met her mother on a trip to southern Idaho. Her books look fascinating...all are about strong women in historical settings.

Whatever you do this summer, treat yourself to some leisure reading. And remember: NEVER turn down the corners of books!

Summer Reading Suggestions

Calling all bibliophiles: summer reading time is here. Yippee! Whether you plan to travel to some exotic location or enjoy a relaxing "stay-cation", it helps to have recommendations for books.

My taste might not match yours, but I'll give it a go anyway. Here's what's on my Kindle or bookshelf.

Non-fiction

1. When Breathe Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi - recommended by my friend, Tony Vis. An excellent, quick read by a young neurosurgeon who succumbs to cancer. It's an excellent discourse on death, quality of life, physician-patient relationships, etc. It will have you thinking about it days after you finish. Written beautifully by a gifted writer and scientist.
2. Called for Life by Kent and Amber Brantly - story of a medical missionary to Liberia who contracted the deadly Ebola disease. He was the first American to be evacuated and flown to the U.S. for treatment. His story of faith and survival is inspiring. His compassion and humility are faith-building. Another quick but thoughtful read.
3. Grandma Gatewood's Walk by Ben Montgomery - the inspiring story of a woman who walked the Appalachian Trail three times, the first at age sixty-seven! A delightful read about a spunky woman.
4. Walk to Beautiful: The Power of Love and a Homeless Kid Who Found the Way by Jimmy Wayne - interesting insight into the plight of foster teens and the struggles they must overcome. Jimmy Wayne is an accomplished country/western musician who uses his fame and resources to help teens in foster care. He walked from Atlanta to a Group Home in Phoenix to bring media attention to the issue.
5. Code Talker by Chester Nez - fascinating story of the Navajo Code Talkers and their contribution to World War II. The book gives insight into life on the reservation for children during the 1940s. I believe Chester is still alive though in poor health.
6. Life Without Limits by Nick Vujicic - the subtitle is: Inspiration for a Ridiculously Good Life. Nick was born without arms or legs, but enjoys a fulfilling life sharing the love of God through his speaking and writing ministry. He has been married for several years. He has an amazing sense of humor that came through clearly when he spoke at our church (Christ's Church of the Valley in Phoenix).
7. The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown - the story of nine Americans and their epic quest for gold at the 1936 Olympics. Fascinating story about the sport of rowing, as well as the intricacies of the Berlin Olympics. It's a story of an underdog team of rowers.
8. Uncommon Marriage by Tony and Lauren Dungy - learning about lasting love and overcoming life's difficulties from an NFL coach and strong man of God.
9. Wild Men, Wild Alaska by Rocky McElveen - a fun read with a subtle Christian flavor. Great book for men and young boys. The author runs a wildlife expedition company. Some of his clients were NFL players and former-president George H.W. Bush. Recommended by my friend, Darlene Maxwell.
10. The Mockingbird Next Door by Marja Mills - fans of Harper Lee will enjoy this personal insight into the famous author's life in Alabama. Author Mills is a young journalist who became a friend to Ms. Lee and was granted permission to write the story of a very private woman.

Next Blog Post

Stay tuned for suggestions about some interesting fiction. If you have some titles to add, let me know in the "Comments" section below.

 Happy reading!

Mother's Day Follow-up

Proverbs 31 Woman

As a young wife and mom, I disliked it when a pastor preached on the importance of women striving to meet the standards of Proverbs 31:

• bring good not harm ALL the days of your life
• work with eager hands
• bring food from afar
• get up while it is still night!
• buy real estate and plant a vineyard
• work vigorously, trade profitably, and stay up late into the night working
• clothe your family, look good yourself, and make your home beautiful
• and, oh yes, help the poor and needy

Whew. Get the drift? This is quite a list of seemingly unattainable characteristics. Most women I know are stretched to the max with all sorts of responsibilities for family, friends, home, work, church, and community.

It's impossible to do all this and still have time and energy to commune with God. That's why I didn't like sermons on this chapter.

One day, a very wise woman told me this wasn't a "to do" list for a woman. Rather, it was a standard of characteristics meant to cover a lifetime. You can't do it all at the same time, but perhaps some of these beautiful qualities can be developed throughout the years.

What a relief I felt. There is a time for everything--IN GOD'S TIME! For reassurance on this, read Ecclesiastes.

Message to over-scheduled women: ask God to reveal his plan for your life. At this time, what does he want you to emphasize? Stop beating  yourselves up over not being able to do it all, and do it all perfectly.

Message to preaching pastors: be sensitive when extolling the virtues of the Proverbs 31 woman.


(Sidebar: this passage is advice from a mother to her son on choosing a wife. What mother doesn't want the best for her child. Do ya think her standards might be a little unrealistic? Just an opinion.)

Mother's Day Can be Difficult

Hallmark has made sure no one forgets Mother's Day. However, they've also managed to make it difficult for some people to get through it. I always cringe in church when we are instructed to stand and wish the women around us a "Happy Mother's Day."

What about those women who aren't mothers? Who have lost children? Who have lost their moms? Those who are single or those who choose not to have kids? What about those who may be estranged from their children?

I once knew a woman who never went to church on Mother's Day because it was too painful. She spent almost her entire life taking care of aging parents and in-laws. She said they were her mission in life, and there was no time for motherhood. Ouch.

What about single dads? Shouldn't we send them cards or flowers and chocolates on this day?

I feel privileged to be a mom and enjoy everything about it. But, I never want to lose my sensitivity to those who are not parents or choose not to be parents.

I wish all mothers a special blessing as they work diligently to make life good for their children. They deserve the accolades and attention of Mother's Day.

I pray all women (and men) feel God's blessing whether they're parents or not.

Maybe we should celebrate a Happy Adult Day..........

By the way:  call your mother!