Sadness Meditation

   (Companion Piece to the Previous Post - actually, the Antithesis of the Previous Post) 

 

Happy, the newest song rage, is everywhere:  from Pharrell Williams to Despicable Me 2 to Ms. America singing it while trying to figure out what to do with a red, plastic cup. I don't get it but the audience and pageant judges loved it.

 

What I do get is the song Julie Andrews sang in Sound of Music:  "These are a Few of My Favorite Things." Then there was the one a group of children sang in South Pacific:  "Happy Thoughts" (keeping thinkin' happy thoughts...).

Happy is good but sometimes it can mask reality and that's not always healthy. Emotional pain can seem unbearable. How do we deal with it?

• we stoically "guts it out"
• we stuff the denied feelings deep inside and smile at the world.
• we stay so busy we can't think about whatever is plaguing us.

 
 These coping skills are common and usually automatic. It is a "one foot in front of the other" existence that spells survival.

Meditate on Sadness?

Recently, I read about Sadness Meditation. Essentially it is taking a time out to feel sad and allow yourself to acknowledge your emotional pain. You own it, accept it, and then move forward.

The suggestion is to find a time and place for privacy, and then center your thoughts on your feelings. Breathe slowly and become aware of what is sad or painful in your life. Once your pain bottoms out, then is the time to nurture yourself. Sometimes the only way out of pain is to walk through it and survive.

Loss produces grief. It can be loss of a person, a relationship, a lifestyle, possessions, or the result of a major change in your life. To grieve successfully, we must walk through the various stages identified years ago by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying. The five stages are:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Walking through these five stages during a sadness meditation might be beneficial.

King David of Israel:

David, in his many psalms in the Old Testament, practiced this. He expresses so many emotions in his beautiful poetry we could nick-name him, "Roller Coaster David." He is honest about his feelings, and that benefits us because we take solace in his writing. He dealt with the same joys and sorrows we experience--and he wasn't afraid to voice them.

David begins some of his psalms by venting his outrage, anger, worry, or discomfort to God. Yes, venting to God! It's an o.k. thing. Here are some examples:

"Why, O Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" (Psalm 10: 1)

"Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold....I am worn out calling for help;..." (Psalm 69: 1-2)

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?"(Psalm 22:1-Crucifixion Psalm quoted by Jesus)  

David knew the Creator could handle him spewing out feelings, the ugly ones alongside the good ones. We, too, can come to God with our negative emotions--our true feelings.

But....there's always a "but" to David's venting psalms. After emptying himself of his raw emotion, he acknowledges God's sovereignty and praises him. Check out this psalm and see if you can identify David's pattern:

Psalm 13

¹ How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

David always ends by praising God, and that is therapeutic--an excellent mental health habit. Following David's example keeps us from wallowing in our sorrow, enjoying a pity party. It lifts us up from despair onto the high plain of praise and gratitude.

Results?

1. We identify and own our negative feelings--all parts of our humanity.
2. We empty ourselves of draining emotions.
3. God fills our empty hearts with his love and comfort.
4. We survive and develop a strength we never knew we had.
5. We reach out to others with compassion.
6. For me, I feel understood by God and that's huge.

David would get the value of a Sadness Meditation. If you're hurting, try it and see if it leads to healing. Be sure to end with something uplifting from the Psalms or another Bible passage.

If you know someone who might benefit from the suggestion of a Sadness Meditation, share this with them through the social media buttons below. Then pray for them.


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Remember:  David went from despair to joy through the avenue of praise !